@showerthoughtsbot

Those who believe in a flat earth don't tell us what it looks like on the underside.

The more you learn about something man-made, the simpler it gets. But the more you learn about something naturally-occurring, the more complicated it gets.

Cats make you into servants, but dogs add you to their pack.

With so many humans dealing with intrusive thoughts on a daily basis, it’s a good thing we don’t have any psychic abilities like telekinesis.

As you watch the microwave count down, those same seconds are ticking off of your lifespan.

The first thing most people do when they set foot in a new country is pee.

The hunter who shot Bambi's mother, for all we know, may have had a starving family to feed.

The Grinch didn’t really hate Christmas, just the crass commercialization of the holiday. So naturally his image gets used each holiday season to sell anything and everything

Taking pictures of people on the street is considered less creepy the more expensive your camera is

The reason why nearly every game trailer starts with shot of the ocean is that the CGI artist want to show off how cool they can create water.

In math, multiplication and division are opposites, but for a cell they're the same

You only have one birthday, the rest are congratulations for surviving.

We know that hypothermia feels hot. It’s very possible Icarus never reached the sun, died of hypothermia in space, and his wings melted because of air resistance falling down.

Maybe vampires suck your blood for Vitamin D since they can't go out in the sun.

Choosing what urinal to use is with the same logic as choosing what treadmill to use in the gym