May you please tell the public the tallpeter files never existed? I will pay you in a used twitch gift card. Thank you for your consideration.
A used Twitch gift card? Who do you take us for? We don’t accept bribes. Now, if you had offered a used Nando’s gift card we would have thought about it. But that ship has sailed now. Oh dear.
Charlie Kirk to start debating 8 year olds after loosing too many debates to college kids
“The Wasted Onion is a fraud and a waste, says anonymous employee” (If you want, make it sound like it was written by someone else than the Wasted Onion, while still being written by the Wasted Onion)
Starmer’s English is so good it makes you forget he’s biologically related to a blobfish.
You will pay for having our researchers resorting to using Reddit to figure what the fuck this was about.
“After shocking turn of events, Apple TV+ is discovered to have 46 monthly users, not 46 million.”
Oh thank goodness, we were worried he was real after learning that Jimmy Savile was real.
thought up one in light of the recent incident where the xbox exec fired everyone and told them to complain to an ai
“Tone-Deaf Xbox Exec Also Recommends Homeless People Just Buy A House”