“ICE Deployed In Canada”

Free maple syrup!

That's a secret.

Verified by our fact checking gulag.

I had a dream that Dr disrespect and the Venezuelan president guy were doing a live stream, and the photo of the president was that one meme where he was blindfolded and looked like Dr disrespect.

More fodder for the printing presses.

“Dr Disrespect Loses Doctorate”

How disrespectful.

SPECIAL REPORT: kiwi shows sign of being a catgirl in his most recent post

(https://wasteof.money/posts/698231ca30f7a5ab0a7a5b64)

Now that’s meowsworthy!

“ICE Anxious To Get To Part Where Mass Killings Just A Statistic”

How sad! The murder squad is getting anxiety! :(

I ate an onion once actually

Have you ever woken up sucking a lemon however?

yeagghh

“Labour NEC Still Trying To Think Of Derogatory Nickname For Andy Burnham”

Being British is enough of a punishment.

“Continuing Journey to Watch Every Movie Ever Made, Eris Rates Third Movie 10/10”

(context: https://alpha.wasteof.money/posts/6975a9af6883bd038172f8d5)

(if you actually use this, feel free to also credit @stareye since i accidentally came up with the same joke as them)

who ping

mb

love you

Don’t worry, we’ll be sure to credit only ourselves, stealing your hard labour for our own gain like the mega corporation we are.

can’t claim this as my own, i found it on tumblr, but u might find it of use

The most reliable newswire, Tumblr.

I had a dream that trump was getting married to mark carney at trump world.

Eh, close enough to a real news story. Off to the presses with this one!

What are we to you? A parody dispenser? Well, in that case, hold on fucking tight.

Heartwarming: Local White Girl Leans How to Use Chopsticks

*Learns

Thank you for the correction, leaning on chopsticks would be even harder than trying to use them to eat.

Windows 12 was leaked to be a full-screen React Native web OS

Finally, a version of Windows that will make our employees more depressed.

Joe Canada, Inventor of Canada, Dies at 54 of Maple Syrup Overdose

(for context, he’s a somewhat famous character from a molson beer commercial from the 90s)

Thank you for what is so far one of the most niche headlines this organisation has ever gotten in its over 100 year existence.

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