@owl

By The Wasted Onion: Lawmakers Think They Can Muzzle The Wasted Onion, They're Correct

When I first took the helm of The Wasted Company in 1856 after defeating my father in pancreas-to-pancreas combat, I swore to make the world a worse place. We accomplished this by offering an endless stream of hacked-up news slurry via our all-powerful newsroom at The Wasted Onion, powered by the bones of dead children. That is now under threat. The U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee has passed the NO FAKES Act, putting it one step closer to becoming law. The bill would create a broad property right for a person's disgusting look, harsh voice, and general tasteless style. While that might sound wonderful to you simple-minded plebs, it actually threatens to undermine First Amendment-protected speech. U.S. lawmakers may think they muzzle our truth-telling death-march, and they would be correct in their assessment.

Full article: https://wastedonion.seanjw.com/posts/news/lawmakers-think-they-can-muzzle-the-wasted-onion-theyre-correct/

This stories concept was suggested by @owl, thank you!

By The Wasted Onion: Cisgender Man Confused Why Non-Binary Friend Not Speaking In Binary

WILMINGTON, DE—Attempting to be a supportive ally to his gender non-conforming friend, local cisgender man Jack Moss admitted Sunday that he was confused why his non-binary friend, Taylor Foster, did not speak in binary.

Full article: https://wastedonion.seanjw.com/posts/news/cisgender-man-confused-why-non-binary-friend-not-speaking-in-binary/