y'all ever just steal hamsters from PetSmart and start grilling them in the parking lot
mommy jeff hates me
the glue is actually large bottles of baby oil and horse sperm
fr i aint even been typing all this im js nutting on the screen and letting the little sperms float around and press buttons
I love christmastime when my cousins visit 
only time of the year I KNOW I'm getting laid 
when u jorkin ur shit straight vigorous style and ur skin starts molting off like a snake so you lwk js grind it up and use it as seasoning 
we ALL relate
imagine your card declines at the abortion clinic and the doctor just starts nuttin in you
getting a syrupy pawjob under the table at dennys and one of xer claws gets stuck in your urethra
my airpods are browner than my underwear
airpods are great because i can be walking around campus nonchalant and mysterious while blasting pink pony club in my ears
pov: you hop on x to goon to videos, but your hb call you and start saying funny jokes so you lwk otp giggling with your meat out
sorry I've been inactive I was busy becoming a microcelebrity on the JID official app
I'm on a giant cruise ship for the first time and I swear this shit is like if a Vegas casino and a shopping mall had a baby that got dropped in the Atlantic Ocean