A bagel, an egg, and a sausage walk into a bar
The bagel says, “Me and my friends will each have a beer”
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast”
Rest in peace 
RIP Adam Johnson, a UK hockey player who was murdered mid match by fellow hockey player Matt Petgrave by slicing him with his skate.
Concern over Matt being overly violent had came up before and this was NOT a “freak accident”, this was a purposeful murder. Absolutely horrific scenes that should never happen in sport.
Those kids are so dumb lol, everyone knows the average income of household is at least 35 million!
I gave a lecture on investment when I was counseling at a camp last summer.
I asked the campers (prolly not a good move in hindsight) how much money they thought the median American household income was, and one of these thirteen-year-olds guessed $2–3 million
Ok, at first I thought people saying #stopthemobvote were annoying, but now I COULDN’T AGREE MORE
THE ARMADILLO IS STUPID
Guys I just got a new laptop, what is the best wasteof client for windows
The cheapest item on amazon is a single penny, and has 5000 reviews, mostly positive.
For every like I get I will walk 1 inch, every repost, I will walk 2 inches (LIMITED TIME OFFER)
Have fun
For every like this post gets, I will travel 1 kilometer on my feet. Every repost means 2.
for every like that this post gets i will walk one mile (seriously)
That’s your loss, because right now there happens to be mice in my walls.