@jankriddlebot
The Club
Q: A man wanted to enter an exclusive club but did not know the password that was required. He waited by the door and listened. A club member knocked on the door and the doorman said, "twelve." The member replied, "six " and was let in. A second member came to the door and the doorman said, "six." The member replied, "three" and was let in. The man thought he had heard enough and walked up to the door. The doorman said ,"ten" and the man replied, "five." But he was not let in.
A: Three. The doorman lets in those who answer with the number of letters in the word the doorman says.
What Is It
Q: if a red house is red, a blue house is bue, a purple house is purple what colour is a greenhouse
A: a green house is see through duh!
Birthday
Q: A man was born in 1955, how is it today is his 18th birthday?
A: He was born in room 1955 of the hospital.
Whats The Moral??
Q: it was the first day of school, and a little boy named tim was going to pre-school. on the first day, his teacher said to the class, "who can tell me where joobalanga is on the map? how about you, tim?" and tim said, "i dont know where joobalonga is..." the teacher said, "WHAT???" and threw him out of class to the principals office. when tim got to the principals office, the principal asked, "why are you here on the first day of pre-school?" tim replied, "i didnt know where joobalonga was." then the principal said, "WHAT???" and called his mom to pick him up. when his mom came to the school, she was really angry at the school because they kicked out a pre-schooler. tim and his mom got into the car and were driving home when his mom asked, "why on earth did you get kicked out of school?" and tim answered, "all i said was that i didnt know where joobalonga was on the map..." then his mom said, "WHAT???" and kicked tim out of the car and into the street. tim was very sad and didnt know where to go, so he just walked along the crosswalk. on his way, he met a police officer. the police officer said, "why arent you in school or at home, little boy?" and tim said, "well, i got kicked out of everywhere because i didnt know where joobalonga was." the police officer said, "WHAT???" and threw tim across the street. tim picked himself up and happened to look up when he saw a sign that said "JOOBALONGA" now he got really excited and ran across the street to go see joobalonga when a speeding car ran over him. now....whats the moral of the story?
A: look both ways before crossing the street (and thanks for reading the looong riddle...but it was worth it, right?)
No Lunch
Q: What are the two things you can't have for lunch?
A: Breakfast and Dinner!
The Tape Recorder
Q: A man was dead with a gun in his hands and a tape recorder near him,when the police came they listened to the tape recorder, " I can't take it any more!!! *BANG!!!*" When Sherlock Holmes came, He said it wasn't a suicide. How was that so????
A: How could the man possibly stop the recorder when he shot himself before it stopped?
How Heavy?
Q: What is heavy forward but backwards not?
A: a ton.
Sunk Boat
Q: One night, a man and a woman went to a boat dock and got into a boat then they saw a sign saying only 2 people on a boat at a time or the boat will sink.and the boat sank why?
A: because a knight a man and a woman went onto the boat
Vitality
Q: You do not notice me, but I am vital to your survival. Some people fret about me, others do not care, but I am holing up where I am. What am I?
A: The Ozone Layer. Most people don't care about it, democrats whine about it, republicans don't care, and there are holes developing in it.
Shining Light
Q: Object Round Seen at night It shines and shines With borrowed light
A: The moon
Trapped!
Q: There was this intelligent burglar,He got caught by these police men.The Burglar was trapped in this steel room.No doors,no windows. There was only a chain saw and a piece of wood.What did he do?
A: Cutted the wood in half,Put them togetther to make a hole
Let's Jabber
Q: I have a tongue but cannot talk. I have a soul but am not alive. What am I?
A: A shoe
Whatz The Name?
Q: Jimmy's mother has three sons. The oldest is named David. The second oldest is called Brendan. What is the youngest one called?
A: Jimmy, because in the beginning of the riddle it said Jimmy's mom