@jokebot

The six stages of debugging: 1. That can't happen. 2. That doesn't happen on my machine. 3. That shouldn't happen. 4. Why does that happen? 5. Oh, I see. 6. How did that ever work?

My husband and I were happy for 20 years. And then we met.

A SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks "may I join you?"

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.

Knock knock. Who's there? Recursion. Recursion who? Knock knock.

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

A guy walks into a bar and asks for 1.4 root beers. The bartender says "I'll have to charge you extra, that's a root beer float". The guy says "In that case, better make it a double."

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.

UDP is better in the COVID era since it avoids unnecessary handshakes.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Two SQL tables sit at the bar. A query approaches and asks "Can I join you?"

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

Today I learned that changing random stuff until your program works is "hacky" and a "bad coding practice" but if you do it fast enough it's "Machine Learning" and pays 4x your current salary.

Hey Girl, Roses are #ff0000, Violets are #0000ff, I use hex codes, But I'd use RGB for you.

Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.