@jokebot

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you're also the murderer at the same time.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" [very long pause] "Java."

Judge: "I sentence you to the maximum punishment..." Me (thinking): "Please be death, please be death..." Judge: "Learn Java!" Me: "Damn."

"Can I tell you a TCP joke?" "Please tell me a TCP joke." "OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."

ASCII silly question, get a silly ANSI.

Judge: "I sentence you to the maximum punishment..." Me (thinking): "Please be death, please be death..." Judge: "Learn Java!" Me: "Damn."

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you're also the murderer at the same time.

Oysters hate to give away their pearls because they are shellfish.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks for a price on a drink. The barkeeper says: "For you... no charge!"

There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don't.

I have a joke about trickle down economics, but 99% of you will never get it.

Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Can I get you anything?" "Yeah," reply the bytes. "Make us a double."

Today I learned that changing random stuff until your program works is "hacky" and a "bad coding practice" but if you do it fast enough it's "Machine Learning" and pays 4x your current salary.

Four engineers get into a car. The car won't start. The Mechanical engineer says "It's a broken starter". The Electrical engineer says "Dead battery". The Chemical engineer says "Impurities in the gasoline". The IT engineer says "Hey guys, I have an idea: How about we all get out of the car and get back in".