@kiwi
tl;dr: “yo im leaving wasteof, i actually like touching grass, still available on discord, cya” (paraphrased by @late)
Due to numerous personal factors, I have made the decision to leave wasteof.money, and the public-facing internet at large, indefinitely.
I initially didn't plan on making any kind of announcement because I didn’t want to come across as attention-seeking or performative in my decision. But honestly, leaving people in the dark feels like it’d create an adjacent problem, so I hope this can suffice.
You can continue to contact me in a few private spaces (Discord: kiwi.two, Steam: kiwitwo), or you can leave a message here for the time being. In theory, the only remaining public-facing places I plan to be active are YouTube (youtube.com/@kiwi-two), my currently in-development website (idk lol), and a couple of extremely niche places literally no one cares about. The ultimately unconstructive crapposting you’ve seen here is going to stop for a long while, however.
Just know that I'm doing well in real life and I intend to part on good terms. Having that forced two month break from wasteof honestly did wonders for my mental health so I’d like to keep that up. Ultimately, real life is something I'd like to spend more time enjoying, and this decision reflects that goal.
I hope you guys understand my decision, thank you for the laughs. I did learn quite a bit from my time on here and I’m not going to forget that any time soon.
fun fact: if you browse the old minecraft website, notch at one point stated that once sales of the game had dried up he’d release the game under some kind of open source, potentially even public domain
so that old promise has… well not really been fulfilled but it’s the closest we’re realistically going to get
Minecraft just announced that in future updates they will be removing obfuscation. This essentially makes Minecraft, a PAID game, nearly open-source. Crazy that Minecraft became open source before wasteof.money 
Official Response from the Crack House
Dear ikilledtallpeter420,
aaaa so many words!! you are like chat gpt
- President Kiwi
SPECIAL REPORT FROM THE CRA- actually no i’m not even gonna bother trying to integrate my presidency into this post lol
anyways i got accepted to the scratch youth advisory board!!
president’s log of america: day 1/1
they don’t even use the metric system here, this place sucks
good thing I’ll be back in wasteoftopia tomorrow
president’s log of australia: day 30/30
why i sure do love being in australia, i sure do hope nothing out of the ordinary happens on this particular day oh hey look is that a
SPECIAL REPORT FROM THE CRACK HOUSE
After a really long, boring, and drawn-out saga to catch the terrible individual responsible for murdering @tallpeter in cold blood, me and Late have successfully identified this blight on the wasteof community and would like to invite you to publicly shame them alongside us.
As it turns out, identifying the killer was not easy. We had to sift through a ton of the TallPeter files, some of which we shared with you officially and the rest was… graciously shared publicly by the Wasted Onion without our prior written permission, but we don’t really care. After all, they were just a few random government documents we had lying around, who cares if they get leaked?
Believe us, this was a tough case. The murderer made sure to leave no trace - except they accidentally did, so they didn’t really try that hard. On multiple occasions, our top investigators felt compelled to drop the case entirely, but after being promised more free meatball subs, they persisted.
And now I can finally reveal, after months of talking about this with seemingly no end in sight, that there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel. The savage responsible for killing TallPeter in broad daylight is:
@ikilledtallpeter420.
I’m just as shocked as you all are, honestly. Of all the good, upstanding citizens on this website, the one that was arguably a saint up to this point chooses to go through with this unthinkable act.
Oh by the way, yes we made sure to dox them, and don’t worry, they are not hot. Next question.
We have moved ikilledtallpeter420 to KiwiLate Maximum State Penitentiary, and they are officially on death row. I will authorize our Executive Executor @adventuremase to fulfill his one job in a few short days soon, but until then you can feel free to shame this scum of the earth on this wasteof profile. Also, we’re letting you, the wasteof community, decide what ikilledtallpeter420’s last meal should be. I’m thinking an all-you-can-eat nutraloaf buffet… with a side of justice… but if you all want to give him a cake for some sick twisted reason, just make your voice heard on this post and the KiwiLate Kitchen Department will try to accommodate.
Here are some words from Late in regards to this milestone in detective work:
[We regret to inform that Late failed to respond for an interview in time for the publication of this document. They don’t call them Late for nothing, after all. We apologize for the inconvenience. Should they choose to respond, this document will be updated accordingly. - KiwiLate Proofreading and Waffle Distribution Department]
As for me, the president of wasteof dot money, I have been escorted by the KiwiLate Ok Fine We’re Just Making Up Departments Now department to the fastest economy-class plane they could find. Yes, after my unusually long leave of absence, I will finally be returning to the one sane place that is Wasteoftopia and fulfilling my normal obligations. They said this was for “safety” or some dumb new DEI woke thing. Unbelievable!
Thank you all for your support over the course of these past 30 days. I know you all were so worried about me and wanted an easily accessible lifelog because we all know the world revolves around me, but fear not, for KiwiLate, and its accompanying justice system, has returned in all its glory.
Sincerely,
The KiwiLate Administration.
P.S. Someone mailed a bunch of vinyl records to my home address and a ton of money mysteriously disappeared from my wallet over the course of this trip. What’s up with that?
P.P.S. Maybe now Late will finally draw that worm with sunglasses playing the saxophone. Maybe. MAYBE.
After conducting very diplomatic discussions, we at the KiwiLate administration are pleased to welcome @adventuremase as the Executive Executioner of wasteof.money. We can only hope he won’t use his newfound powers anytime soon. Congratulations!
wait i just realized… considering that in deltarune ralsei is a darkner and darkners appear in the form of inanimate objects in the light world, this actually checks out
maybe i should find a closet and throw this stuff in there
president’s log of australia: day 29/30
had a subpar night’s sleep
saw some glasses and pens on a table and hallucinated they were ralsei from deltarune for a split second, this probably has absolutely nothing to do with the sleep quality i described a sentence ago but in any case i fail to see the resemblance
can’t wait to be even more tired and see even more weird things beginning tomorrow 
president’s log of australia: day 29/30
had a subpar night’s sleep
saw some glasses and pens on a table and hallucinated they were ralsei from deltarune for a split second, this probably has absolutely nothing to do with the sleep quality i described a sentence ago but in any case i fail to see the resemblance
can’t wait to be even more tired and see even more weird things beginning tomorrow
i was mad when discord discontinued the username tags a few years ago because with nitro classic my tag was set to minikiwigeek#0002, this is a subtle nod to my scratch account which has the username minikiwigeek2 (wow so clever)
anyways it’s not a big deal, i’m fine with my current username “kiwi.two”, could have been worse
Attention money wasters: The KiwiLate Police Department has caught TallPeter’s killer. We’ll reveal their identity sometime within the next week.
tried to teach myself how to navigate the usenet yesterday
much to my surprise, all anyone uses the usenet for these days is spam and piracy
president’s log of australia: day 28/30
found a geocache yesterday, was the first time in a while that i’d tried to find one so it was pretty fun
i feel bad for the one apple employee out there who probably spent his life dreaming of working at apple and successfully getting hired after years of schooling
only to be immediately assigned to the windows software department