crazy how we GENUINELY finna be moving on wasteof’s annual get impregnated day on jan. 12 
on god bro y’all dickriding. that shit wasn’t even that annoying like hop off bro
why the fuck is everyone hating on @president so much?
god forbid people have a little fun and exercise creativity
if it bothers you guys so much just unfollow the account or ignore the post
I think the main issue with the whole joke is there wasn’t enough sex appeal
Alright I’m breaking character for a second:
This whole island thing was written and intended to be published over the course of a week. We aren’t going to mess with that schedule, and the story will be over in three days.
But thanks to our lack of initial indication that we were going to pull a stunt, and our lack of indicating that said stunt had a definitive ending, I now see that this whole thing has come across as a weird never-ending attempt to stir up drama, or us dragging a joke into the ground until it’s not funny any more, or maybe a combination of the two.
What I’m trying to say is, our bad. We should have set this up in such a way that wasn’t so… annoying for people not in on it.
Needless to say, as soon as this thing is over (which as a reminder will be on December 1), we’ll be going back to normal and we’ll never speak of this again.
Until then, maybe send us a helicopter.
Sounds like SOMEBODY doesn’t appreciate their god-given rights as an American citizen 
I think that wasteof should just go back to being just a monarchy again at this point 
like what
Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah. This is just blatantly false. First of all, Glaze wouldn’t matter if you could control something way bigger. Second of all, just because KyleTech has my phone number, it does NOT mean we are friends, or I am a member of his administration. I was the sole leader of The Kiwi Party, and spent HOURS ensuring that Kiwi would be elected president. Thirdly, who the FLIP cares about Kiwism bro 
WOAH! My fellow Wasteofers, this is a complete and blatant lie from the KyleTech administration! I would never pay Toaks to kill President Kiwi! After all, Kiwi was the lead ideacomeupper for Glaze and the founder of arguably the only religion, Kiwiism.
I am severely sorry to hear about the tragic and unfortunate death of our late great president. As the head of commerce, I will write up a bill that requires you to pay 99.95% sales tax on all non-breakfast food items, all of which will be forwarded to whatever branch of government handles the creation and distribution of waffles.
Okay guys, I know it’s probably not a good idea, but I have a theory…
@Owl PAID @Toaks to kill @Kiwi.
Now, it might sound crazy, but before Kiwi died, he put me in charge of the Department of Education, which means I’m smart and everything I say is right.
Why would Owl want to do such a thing? Well, there’s many good reasons, and I have the receipts to back it up.
This may not be a well-known fact, but Owl attempted to coerce me into killing the new interim president, @Late. Additionally, Owl quite literally ranted on the Wasted Onion about how she wants to bring the collapse of the government, and what better way to bring chaos and possible collapse of the government than by killing Late or Kiwi?
And you might say that Toaks couldn’t’ve KNOWN he was going to crash, and possibly kill president Kiwi, but I’d disagree. Toaks is clearly somewhat intelligent, as he is extremely skilled at 3D Modeling and Animations, and as such there is no way he would’ve not been able to successfully perform the barrel roll, and pushing someone off of a cliff accidentally? No way buckaroo. That’s like being caught masturbating and saying your penis just MAGICALLY got into your hands. As such, it appears MORE than likely that Owl and Toaks both orchestrated the MURDER of my beloved Kiwi, and as such, I believe that they should be put down for capital punishment.
I also believe that Owl may secretly be @ikilledtallpeter420, as killing a large user on the website may be another way for her to attempt to cause chaos, as I don’t believe their excuse on how they committed the murder without an account, and Gainof and Glazed sound suspiciously similar, and may be a codeword for one another.
In conclusion, I believe that due to these odd coincidences and suspicious circumstances, it is more than evident that Owl and Toaks orchestrated and carried out the murder of former President Kiwi.
Sincerely,
Thratwitch
Head Of Late’s Education Department
(evidences will be commented below this post)
I too agree on this.
@Late was chosen as Vice President while @Kiwi was still alive, and I’m not drinking the kool-aid here that Kiwi just decided to choose @AdventureMase even though he already chose Late as Vice President. And why ADVENTUREMASE of all people? You mean the guy that has less than ten posts on here would make an excellent president for this platform compared to Late, who's been on here loyally serving the platform for three years? This is an outrage, and I will not tolerate this on my beloved Wasteof. Late will BECOME president, as the rightful leader of this platform, and I will not be afraid to do all I can, including starting an all-out civil war (as in Minecraft 1.8 PVP) to STOP this. In fact, I believe I may have another suspect in who orchestrated the killing of Kiwi, and that’s AdventureMase. I believe AdventureMase may be a pawn for @Owl ‘s plans to dominate this platform. Why? Well, after my recent exposal of Owl’s action’s, if they were deemed president, it would be way too blatantly obvious to become president, and as such, has made AdventureMase a pawn that she can use to do her bidding. I think it is so incredibly obvious at this point that this killing was a extensive conspiracy and required lots of planning, however it is not enough for me, thrat, the most intelligent wasteof user ever (that’s why Kiwi made me the head of Education)
Sincerely,
Thratwitch
Head of the KiwiLate Education Department
WHY WOULD YOU ELECT A NEW PRESIDENT IF THERE’S A VICE PRESIDENT???!?!???!?!!???!!
what’s the point of a vice president then??
like what
i’m protesting this vote. I don’t care who the president is this is just dumb
ADVENTUREMASE ELECTED TEMPORARY PRESIDENT WHILE ADMINISTRATION GRAPPLES WITH THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF
Shortly after the news of the president’s death was delivered yesterday, the administration met to elect a replacement for the late and great president @kiwi. They made the tearful decision to appoint @adventuremase, who is currently stranded on a deserted island in a tropical part of the North Atlantic Ocean, as the president. The administration took the rest of the day off as they fought with the fact Kiwi will never come back. Adventuremase briefly radioed in a response to this news: “Can someone get them a box of tissues? Anywho, this is a tough role to carry, but I believe I can avenge Kiwi. I can’t believe that @toaks definitely, totally killed him. Toaks was shooting sleeping darts at me, so he must have committed many treasonous crimes while I was knocked out.” We can only hope the remainder of the climb proves too difficult for Toaks.
Okay guys, I know it’s probably not a good idea, but I have a theory…
@Owl PAID @Toaks to kill @Kiwi.
Now, it might sound crazy, but before Kiwi died, he put me in charge of the Department of Education, which means I’m smart and everything I say is right.
Why would Owl want to do such a thing? Well, there’s many good reasons, and I have the receipts to back it up.
This may not be a well-known fact, but Owl attempted to coerce me into killing the new interim president, @Late. Additionally, Owl quite literally ranted on the Wasted Onion about how she wants to bring the collapse of the government, and what better way to bring chaos and possible collapse of the government than by killing Late or Kiwi?
And you might say that Toaks couldn’t’ve KNOWN he was going to crash, and possibly kill president Kiwi, but I’d disagree. Toaks is clearly somewhat intelligent, as he is extremely skilled at 3D Modeling and Animations, and as such there is no way he would’ve not been able to successfully perform the barrel roll, and pushing someone off of a cliff accidentally? No way buckaroo. That’s like being caught masturbating and saying your penis just MAGICALLY got into your hands. As such, it appears MORE than likely that Owl and Toaks both orchestrated the MURDER of my beloved Kiwi, and as such, I believe that they should be put down for capital punishment.
I also believe that Owl may secretly be @ikilledtallpeter420, as killing a large user on the website may be another way for her to attempt to cause chaos, as I don’t believe their excuse on how they committed the murder without an account, and Gainof and Glazed sound suspiciously similar, and may be a codeword for one another.
In conclusion, I believe that due to these odd coincidences and suspicious circumstances, it is more than evident that Owl and Toaks orchestrated and carried out the murder of former President Kiwi.
Sincerely,
Thratwitch
Head Of Late’s Education Department
(evidences will be commented below this post)
I nominate @Burrito
bro a few days ago one of my friends was doing a charity stream where for every dollar you donated i got banned from chat for one minute and i got banned for 143 minutes… am i THAT annoying???
it’s crazy that @kiwi is such a fan of kanye west’s 2021 album donda, that he made his profile picture and banner the cover