@perrin

when the moon hits your dish and you mispronounce fish

albacore

hey girl are you a cash register because I want to steal your insides to fuel my gambling addiction

watermelon flavored motor oil

a b cronk Doug eeeeuh fnuh gumpy hey I love you dad jesus cronk 2 L M evil M o daddy papa quebec ARRRRR sssssssssss clap* U vape W cross yUPP!

for lunch tomorrow I will eat argentina

true chads use papyrus to write their papers

i bet I could kick Weezer’s collective ass

me explaining to the IRS agent how I ‘accidentally’ committed felony tax fraud

bold of you to assume that twitter isn’t diet wasteof

i sleep better knowing that my fanfic version of the prequel trilogy is better written than the actual prequels

what if salmon could play baseball

holy schnitzel

“i have eaten the plums that were in your icebox

and which you were probably saving for breakfast

forgive me, they were delicious

so sweet and so cold”

-This is just to say, William Carlos Williams

feeling juicy rn

my pfp is saved in my computer as “hell yeah.jpeg”