oh to be Michael Reeves’ pet goldfish; living in luxury and clowning redditors at the stock market
ayyy let’s go micah joined
wasteof.money is legit - don’t know how I didn’t find it sooner, but it’s got to be my favorite social platform now. All we need now is for it to be open-sourced - looking at you @jeffalo 
hey girl are you a cash register because I want to steal your insides to fuel my gambling addiction
a b cronk Doug eeeeuh fnuh gumpy hey I love you dad jesus cronk 2 L M evil M o daddy papa quebec ARRRRR sssssssssss clap* U vape W cross yUPP!
me explaining to the IRS agent how I ‘accidentally’ committed felony tax fraud
bold of you to assume that twitter isn’t diet wasteof
i sleep better knowing that my fanfic version of the prequel trilogy is better written than the actual prequels