@burrito

mommy jeff hates me

the glue is actually large bottles of baby oil and horse sperm

fr i aint even been typing all this im js nutting on the screen and letting the little sperms float around and press buttons

I love christmastime when my cousins visit only time of the year I KNOW I'm getting laid

when u jorkin ur shit straight vigorous style and ur skin starts molting off like a snake so you lwk js grind it up and use it as seasoning we ALL relate

imagine your card declines at the abortion clinic and the doctor just starts nuttin in you

getting a syrupy pawjob under the table at dennys and one of xer claws gets stuck in your urethra

she said she on her period, girl that armpit aint

my airpods are browner than my underwear

pov: you hop on x to goon to videos, but your hb call you and start saying funny jokes so you lwk otp giggling with your meat out

there's one moment during an intense diarrhea session where it feels REALLY good

sorry I've been inactive I was busy becoming a microcelebrity on the JID official app

I'm on a giant cruise ship for the first time and I swear this shit is like if a Vegas casino and a shopping mall had a baby that got dropped in the Atlantic Ocean

dingleberries like ornaments on a Christmas tree

moms will religiously police the tv volume to be below 10 constantly and then plop down on the couch and load up a 400 decibel facebook video on their phone