@kiwi
tl;dr: “yo im leaving wasteof, i actually like touching grass, still available on discord, cya” (paraphrased by @late)
Due to numerous personal factors, I have made the decision to leave wasteof.money, and the public-facing internet at large, indefinitely.
I initially didn't plan on making any kind of announcement because I didn’t want to come across as attention-seeking or performative in my decision. But honestly, leaving people in the dark feels like it’d create an adjacent problem, so I hope this can suffice.
You can continue to contact me in a few private spaces (Discord: kiwi.two, Steam: kiwitwo), or you can leave a message here for the time being. In theory, the only remaining public-facing places I plan to be active are YouTube (youtube.com/@kiwi-two), my currently in-development website (idk lol), and a couple of extremely niche places literally no one cares about. The ultimately unconstructive crapposting you’ve seen here is going to stop for a long while, however.
Just know that I'm doing well in real life and I intend to part on good terms. Having that forced two month break from wasteof honestly did wonders for my mental health so I’d like to keep that up. Ultimately, real life is something I'd like to spend more time enjoying, and this decision reflects that goal.
I hope you guys understand my decision, thank you for the laughs. I did learn quite a bit from my time on here and I’m not going to forget that any time soon.
My fellow wasters of money,
So I found these files with tallpeter’s name written on them in this Oval Office drawer…
Should I release them in the interest of transparency, or should I shred them, then sue whoever wrote them for trying to defame the great tallpeter?
Because of democracy, I’m leaving the choice to you, wasteof community. Make me proud…
- President Kiwi
“haven’t logged into wasteof in a while! i wonder what that burrito guy is posting about nowada-”
my dad discovered what vocal stims are and is now blasting a vocal stim compilation he found on youtube throughout our house
so far i’ve been able to identify the sounds of gamblecore, the 9 + 10 = 21 vine, one markiplier clip, one how it’s actually made clip, and maybe one clip from smiling friends, though i’m not 100% sure about that one
i’m not even sure if it’s still going because i locked myself in my room and am currently blasting the wii u menu music to drown out the noise
oh joy
I KNEW IT
next nintendo direct is happening on the 12th
12 is a multiple of 4
there’s four main boxboy games
boxboy 5 confirmed
it got here! eventually! it’s really cool too
the playdate console i’ve semi-sarcastically said i wanted in my discord status for over half a year now has finally been ordered
it will be here… eventually
the slop thickens
why has pixar changed all their social media accounts to almost exclusively post about lightning mcqueen
im ok guys, don’t worry about me too much
Special Report From The Crack House
Today, we found this message sitting on Kiwi’s presidential desk, which appears to have been frivolously scrawled on a notepad. We eventually found Kiwi sitting behind said desk taking a nap, and now claims to be feeling “a lot better” now that he “got that out of his system”. However, we still feel that it’s in this website’s best interest if he stay in bed for a few days after whatever that was.
As part of our commitment to transparency, we have provided the full transcript of the message below for you to interpret.
“BASED ON THE HORRIBLE AND VILE WAIT TIMES PROVIDED BY THE UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE, I HAVE AUTHORIZED VICE PRESIDENT LATE TO IMPOSE SOME NEW BILL I JUST INVENTED WITHOUT ASKING OTHER PEOPLE IN ADVANCE BECAUSE THAT’S HOW THIS WORKS. THIS BILL WILL MAKE MY PANIC PLAYDATE CONSOLE ARRIVE FASTER, AND IT WAS SUGGESTED BY SECRETARY OF STATE AND PROPAGANDA ENGINEERRUNNER (GREAT GUY BY THE WAY, I SHOULD LOOK INTO UNBANNING THAT SOCIALISM ACCOUNT THE WOKE CROWD SCRUBBED) WHILE I WAS DRINKING COVFEFE. IT WILL MAKE EVERY SINGLE PLAYDATE IN THE WORLD ARRIVE FASTER!!!! YOU’RE ALL WELCOME THAT I AM THE WORLD’S SMARTEST HUMAN BEING NAMED KIWI!!!!! Now i am TOTALLY DESERVING OF A NOBEL PEACE PRIZE!!!!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!”
Again, no idea what that was about, but hopefully he gets well soon and doesn’t do… that… again.
- Bob, The Crack House’s Janitor (was the only guy available to write this message)