@auriali

i forgot to actually explain how i’m gonna cover the election with wasted onion, so here ya go:

unlike last year, where i posted sometimes 3-4 times a day to cram everything i wanted, i’m instead sticking to my usual 2 posts a day max. this is being done by cramming all the headlines and a full-length article into one. you can see that if you look at the wasted onion right now, there’s a full article alongside a “elsewhere on the campaign trail“ section that has extra jokes for all the candidates i can make something up for (aka active ones lol). on top of that i’ll try and cram in any extra stuff that people request as part of the election.

for example, todays post, which will be up later, will have a normal article, an op-ed a candidate has submitted to me (with some wasted onion spice added for good measure) and 3 extra mini stories too, basically special reports. so that is 5 different pieces in one.

basically what i’m trying to say is please read some of it if you have time bc i’m trying to make this years satire coverage even better lol.

also, there will be a little thing at the end of the election i’ll post on the wasted onion, so look out for that too if you’re interested!

p.s. normal articles and suggestions are backlogged until after the election so i don’t bombard people with too many posts. but i will get to them, so please send anything if you want, it will get done eventually lmao.

ok bye.

fun fact: jeffalo added this button to the wasted onion account after i wrote an article titled “New Wasteof4 Feature Allows Users To Delete Accounts They Don’t Like.“ It’s actually the first ever article I wrote for the wasted onion, you can read it here and see how i’ve (hopefully) improved since then!

https://wastedonion.seanjw.com/posts/news/new-wasteof4-feature-allows-users-to-delete-accounts-they-dont-like/

https://wasteof.money/posts/67b3c4578731170e3fbd3942

hey so i accidentally posted two wasted onion posts one after another today lol. sorry about that! i usually space them out but i went into autopilot and posted them both without thinking lmao

you guys don’t get me and @burrito’s collab. i keep getting cameras put down my throat so that i can keep making my classic “had a camera put down my throat“ posts for burrito to then recycle into whatever affront to god he wants, hence providing both of us internet points on wasteof.money. shame some of you don’t appreciate the hustle

had a camera put down my throat once again today, how has your day been going?

not sure i want to admit how long it took me to make this articles image in affinity photo lol

had a camera put down my throat again yesterday, how has your day been going?

sad day for keir starmer fans everywhere...

while i’m right handed, i do wear my watch on my right wrist rather than my left, which is the most common way as people tend to wear watches on their non-dominant hand

good thing that the wasted onion does not use mere money to operate. but rather it is fuelled by the carcasses of dead puppies that are stolen from little children across the world, of which are then thrown into a massive incinerator that is hooked directly into the wasted onion newsroom to power the never-ending bullshit factory.

today is the first time I've scrapped a fully finished wasted onion article. I finished writing it earlier today, read it back later in the day and realised I hated it lol. so yeah, first time that's happened, hopefully won't happen often lol

you’re proverbs but are you proadverbs, proadjectives and pronouns?