as your secretary of state, i can confidently say that we are not keeping any secrets from you guys. we’re honest about everything, and will never try to steer you from the truth. the earth is definitely round, australia does indeed exist, and there are no underground lizard people. you’re welcome
…where’s the other five?
markovmoney, don’t leave me hanging like this! i need answers!
Six funny comebacks:
1.
this is an honor. i am proud to be your secretary of state. i promise i will not let wasteof down.
and remember, ask not what silliness can do for you, but ask what you can do for silliness.
Meet the Administration
Today, my administration is announcing our government. We have a diverse group of people who will ensure that our nation is committed to silliness. Other roles may be appointed in the future if desired. Below is the list of our appointees.
President - @auriali
Vice President - @perrin
First Gentleman - @beemoviebot
Second Gentleman - @da-ta
Secretary of State - @kiwi
Secretary of the Treasury - @toaks
Secretary of Defence - @eris
Attorney General - @esben
Secretary of Agriculture - @wynd
Secretary of Commerce - @oren
Director of National Intelligence - @dertermenter
Secretary of Health and Human Services - @radi8
Acting Secretary of Housing and Urban Development - @allyz
Secretary of Transportation - @mef
Secretary of Energy - @lily
Secretary of Education - @elsie
Secretary of Homeland Security - @mrowlsss
Ambassador to the United Nations - @zlf
Secretary of the TNC Department - @micahlt
King - @jeffalo
As you can see, we have fulfilled yet another campaign promise to make the @thenewcreators a government department, headed by one of its hosts, Micah Lindley. We will continue to bring our manifesto promises to life for the people of this great nation!
Apologies for all the pings, I just wanted to make sure everyone I appointed are aware since I didn’t ask beforehand. If you wish to be replaced, then please let me know!
wasteof time
come on, grab your waffles
we’ll go to money-wasting sites
with jeffalo,
and some guy named kiwi,
and posts that are quite fine,
it’s wasteof time
i don’t want to make this super long since i know i’m not joe biden or anything but
at this point it’s super obvious who’s going to win this election, and it’s not me.
but i’m ok with that! second place is enough for me. and in the grand scheme of things, this whole election thing is just a silly game! i’m super glad i was able to participate. thank you to everyone who voted for me, and thank you to everyone who participated in this election in general!
and congratulations in advance to @auriali and @perrin for winning the election! you guys both really deserve it!
now, comment below for your consolation waffle prize. :)
Kiwi
new incentive: everyone who votes for me will get an “i’m cool” award, like the one shown below!
outdated information, my political interests have shifted to money-wasteism
ok which one of you guys made a last.fm page for that youtube video i made that unexpectedly blew up
because it definitely wasn’t me
