If I win presidency, I will draw a ferret, a crow, then a fox!
These are great campaign goals, thus you should vote for me
But you know what birdy doesn't hate puppies? This one!
#Owlsss2025
A little birdy told me that oren hates puppies… just saying
#TallPeter2025
#StandUpOrStandDown
By The Wasted Onion: Man Drinks Hand Sanitiser After Reading 60% Alcohol Content; Dies
VOLENDAM, NETHERLANDS—Remembering the “dearly loved” member of the community, the family of local man Noah Jansen announced Sunday that he had died from drinking a bottle of hand sanitiser after reading it had a 60% alcohol content. “We’re heartbroken to announce the untimely death of our beloved Noah. He loved life almost as much as he loved anything that had alcohol in it. Being the stupid drunkard he was, this is not a surprise, but at least he died doing what he loved best; getting shitfaced,” said a statement from the Jansen family's legal representative. “Are you seriously fucking asking me if you should drink hand sanitiser? This was not the shit I imagined I’d be doing in this profession,” said Beatrix Aarle, a Gastroenterologist who spoke to The Wasted Onion while rolling her eyes. “If the Hippocratic Oath didn’t exist I’d say you deserve to die if you’re that much of a dipshit to drink hand sanitiser.” In an exclusive interview with Mr. Jansens mother, she said her son was well known to drink various liquids not meant for human consumption, such as diesel, cyanide, chlorine, and Prime by Logan Paul and KSI.
This stories headline was written and suggested by @the-owlsss, thank you!
I feel like downloading the entirety of Wikipedia’s texts onto an SD card I have and making an HTML client to browse it easier
Mfw i forget my Wasteof.money password so I have to sign in with GitHub
Mfw i forget my GitHub password
Y'know, I made a password manager, I should probably use it
Y'all how come the people who just say “vote for me, I'll do nothing” are genuinely campaigning better than the people actually campaigning?
Y’know, if you vote for me, I’ll eliminate literally all taxes on breakfast foods
Just sayin
This is a smear campaign designed to slander my image ran by the Kiwi party. Unlike the Kiwi party, however, I will never lie to you as president. I will hold the government 100% accountable for their actions, and will be completely transparent about what's going on in this platform.
#Owlsss2025
Suicide is such a selfish way of going about things. Maybe you don't give a damn about yourself and your life, but have you ever thought to consider the lives of everyone else?? Sure, perhaps it may be easier to die than to endure pain with patience, but would you really rather cowardly move your pain onto those around you than find better ways to deal with yourself?
This is a message to anyone who needs to hear it, and there are quite a few here; Don't fucking do it.
Since everyone is dropping out of this year's election, I have taken it upon myself to run and campaign.
We simply cannot have just one person run.
I will announce my goals soon