ok in my defence i did not plan for any of this whatsoever, i didn’t know i could cause half of this stuff to happen i just kinda accidentally did it lmao. also my dictatorship is arguably way funnier and far less depressing than any irl dictatorships or authoritarians so yeah.
lmao
By The Wasted Onion: Jeffalo Says His Favourite Person To Ban Is Himself To Remember How Much Power He Has
Saw @kiwi’s post today and now seems like a good time to ask you all how you’re feeling about @wastedonion? Is the post frequency OK? Do you find the articles I choose from The Onion funny or good choices? And how do you feel about the “By The Wasted Onion” posts that I write and make myself? Just to make it clear I write them myself, I don’t use any AI, I know my writing is kinda wonky and can come off a bit AI feeling. And is there anything you’d like to see more or less of on the account? And of course any further suggestions you might have, including article/headline ideas. Thanks!
can’t believe the woke mob have co-opted my favourite number since I was a small child; 8647 
happy to announce i won’t be accepting a luxury plane from qatar
mainly because they have yet to offer me one
i have a few wasted onion headlines i didn’t think were good enough or i didn’t flesh out before they kinda became irrelevant, so here they are:
Trump And Biden Fall Asleep Together In Each Other’s Arms During Popes Funeral
White House Slams Amazon After Accidental Delivery Of Bottle Of Urine To Mar-A-Lago From Sleep Deprived Delivery Driver
UK Government Successfully Meets 2025 Target To Cut All Homeless People In Half
Lazy Motherfucker Da-ta Finally Makes A Goddamned Wasteof Post
New Pope Leo XIV Is Actually Virgo
Costco Founder To CEO: ‘Even If You Don't Raise The Effing Hot Dog, I Will Kill You.’
Kier Starmer To Be Cast As Headteacher Wagging His Finger While Teenage Boy Stabs His Female Classmates In Adolescence Season Two
JD Vance Releases Debut Kawaii Metal Album Under ‘DJ Vance’ Pseudonym
Glaswegian Invents New Language By Speaking A Little Faster Than Normal
Nintendo Pirates Grand Theft Auto VI
politics warning lmao
i endorse this meme, i even have one of my own to share
given what has happened today, i just wanna say that you should consider following @perrin, he’s a really funny guy who’s a very smart and compassionate person as well.
here’s a bonus wasted onion headline i wrote when all that dislike button and other stuff was added to wasteof4 for like 5 minutes. decided against posting it since when i woke up all the changes were already reverted and kinda ruined the joke lol
i saw these pictures today and from what i think is the original source (just so i had more certainty they are actual old photos), they’re of a man who took his german shepherd into a photo booth at new york city’s grand central station in the winter of 1943.
obviously my immediate intrigue was just that they’re pretty sweet pictures, a man having a laugh trying to get his dog to pose for the camera, and the dog looks very distinguished with the glasses and pipe.
but i think what struck me about them is that it kinda feels as if it sorta reminds us that the people of the past were not that different from us. i think its easy to see the past as just the things we learn in history, wars, politics, conflicts. don’t get me wrong, they matter, those who don’t learn history are doomed to repeat it. but something we don’t see much is just people of older eras being distinctly human. most photos we see from the earlier days of photography are of historic moments, like pictures of world leaders, etc.
these kinds of photos show that people of the past also loved their pets, and found it funny to have them wear human items like glasses. i think it shows that we all have a shared humanity across borders and time.
and yes i somehow made some old pictures of a dude and his dog into some kind of existential thing about the human condition or something, lmao.
photos from barbara levine, a collector of vernacular photography, link to more pics of this man and his dog in the comments.
i got one ui 7 on my samsung s23 ultra today and i need to scream about what they’ve done to adaptive icons. on the left is one ui 6.1, and on the right one ui 7. for some ungodly stupid reason samsung thought that making the icon dark and the background the theme colour looked good. insanity i tell you. whoever signed off on this is crazy, i legit don’t know what they were thinking lmao. also on top of that, widget scaling is wonky, and the last punch in the throat is that it installed google gemini without telling me and i cannot delete it, so now i have another disabled app taking up space on my phone because google and samsung have decided i must have their shitty ai that i don’t use nor need, if i wanted it i would get it from the play store. i have mouth and i must scream.
