“unfortunately, you’re allergic to the letter e”, said the doctor
“oh,” said the patient, and then he died immediately afterwards because basically the doctor got it wrong and he was actually allergic to the letter o
my belated birthday present for myself is gonna be a playdate console
…as soon as i can afford it 
birth of day today :D
as your president, i promise not to hold any birthday celebrations disguised as military parades
birth of day today :D
as your president, i promise not to hold any birthday celebrations disguised as military parades
nah how they gonna save the city of townsville now 
By The Wasted Onion: UK To Ban Sugar, Spice, Everything Nice
LONDON—Pledging to put the nation at the forefront of what it sees as the next evolution in public health, the UK government has introduced a new bill to the House of Commons Friday that will ban sugar, spice and everything nice if passed into law. “Today, this government is taking bold action to create the first sugar, spice and everything nice free generation, clamping down on people getting hooked on sugary snacks, spicy food that has actual flavour, and ensuring we keep the UK a joyless shithole that continues to be a laughing stock of the world over,“ said Health and Social Care Secretary Wes Streeting while giving the first reading of the No More Fun Forever Bill to the Commons. “Sugar, spice and everything nice has a devastating impact on thousands of lives across the UK in exciting and fulfilling ways each year. Tough measures must be taken to ensure future generations don’t smile too much because of having any fun whatsoever.” When asked to clarify what “everything nice” meant in practical terms, Streeting said that alongside banning the aforementioned sugar and spice, the bill would also ban sunrises, sunsets, video games, books, holidays, hugs, kisses, sex, kittens, puppies, sunny days, playgrounds, TV, films, music, festivals, BBQs, nature, the internet and anything else the government deemed would “bring a sense of happiness” to UK residents. At press time, the government confirmed the bill would mandate nightclubs could only play music that brought no joy to its patrons, with nightclub owners responding that only Ed Sheeran’s music would fit the potential new requirement.
This stories headline was written and suggested by @eris, thank you!
i was the guy that drew the “ey” at the end :3
we've done it
in a bug’s life, why didn’t flik just call an exterminator for help with the grasshoppers? is he stupid?
I drew vibri from the hit 1999 rhythm video game developed by nanaon-sha and released by sony computer entertainment for the playstation
During my next presidential address, I will finally release the long-awaited PaRappa the Rapper 2 gameplay videos that @late sent me once on Discord for some reason. This next presidential address will be released on Sunday. Enjoy.
maybe it could use radio waves, then way more people would learn how to receive radio transmissions, so it’d be a good use of the radio.
we can call this legendary invention… “the funny talking box that plays music”
it would be cool if there was an app that automatically syncs everyone’s music in the same space so you’re all hearing the same song in real-time. like a playlist, but social. kinda like… a local audio stream. and if needed they could have human hosts who talk between songs to relay info quickly to people. like announcements, event updates, or news or whatever. wild no one’s done that before.
i now own minecraft volume beta on vinyl! i went with beta instead of alpha because it’s my favorite of the two.
next i’m gonna either get minecraft volume alpha or the entire undertale soundtrack
(pictured with my mom’s record player)
ordered my first ever vinyl record!! i doubt anyone cares but i’ll send pics when i get it
