when you cross the Mexican border and suddenly you’ve lost half of the blue cones in your eyes
if Shakespeare can get away with it so can he
It's funny how Dr. Seuss became one of the most famous authors ever by just making up random nonsense to rhyme with normal words
the fact that Deshaun Watson only gets suspended for 6 games after being accused by 66 women of sexual misconduct while Calvin Ridley gets suspended at least a year for legally betting on games while he’s injured tells you all you need to know about how terrible the NFL is on an organizational level
how in the hell is it august already I’m still mentally stuck in june 2019
gonna eat nothing but animal crackers until my intestines burst
hey guys i just invented the sequel to bugroot it’s called bugfruit it’s purple and shaped like a wide pear
hey guys i just invented a new vegetable it’s called bugroot it’s basically a sweet greenish turnip
oh to be a dolphin residing peacefully in a cranberry bog in southeastern Massachusetts. unbothered. moisturized. happy. in my lane. focused. flourishing.
how dare you post my private affairs on this website for all 7 of its users to see, this is an invasion of privacy and you will hear from my lawyer
i want a poster of toad on a skateboard holding a piña colada with a quaint Spanish coastal villa in the background signed by jimmy buffet himself
