@shaftgoblin

Antichrist of wasteof.money | Transgander
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So, my little legionnaires, as I’m sure you knew, I was briefly banned. I return to bring you my perfectly crafted style, but there will be changes to avoid this happening again cuz it was a dragggggggg so here are my rules-

  1. Shaft Goblin does not discriminate based on gender, ethnicity, or sexuality. Only a pussy who can’t format an insult does that. Total cop out.

  2. Shaft Goblin will be incoherent. Nothing will make sense. There will be things I say that you cannot fathom the cause of and that is on purpose.

  3. Shaft Goblin will be disagreeable. It may not seem like it, but I have put lots of work into this persona. Shaft Goblin is designed so that nobody, no matter their personal views, could ever, for any reason, agree with anything that it says. When it calls you a narcissist when you were talking about what you ate for dinner or some shit like that idk you’re MEANT to think “who would say this? Why would they say this? This doesn’t make any sense!”

  4. Shaft Goblin will tone things down. I acknowledge that I did go overboard with some of my bits and took them to a level that made people uncomfortable. Thats on me, I expected people to be comfortable with everything I am, but that was stupid of me. I will do my absolute best to not make people uncomfortable anymore

  5. Shaft Goblin will stop when asked immediately. Self explanatory. If you’re really not having fun with the account, all you need to do is tell me to quit my bullshit and I will stop.

  6. Thats all :)

Feb 27, 2023, 6:43 PM
9 0 0

life advice: play pikmin

life advice: teleport bread

Now that you have freetime you can use it to play pikmin

Had my last exam earlier today and just submitted my last paper

Done with the spring semester and it is such a relief, there were points where I did not know if I would make it

pikmin

@shaftgoblin’s pikmin arc is the best thing ive seen on this website, hands down

did you guys know its called pikmin because they’re little men that you pick

Pikmin, objectively, is a generally important game to have

soap, objectively, is generally an important commodity to have

May 10, 2023, 4:24 PM
13 1 6

reminds me of how my army of pikmin grows in the game pikmin

the stuffed animal army grows :)

pikmin isnt getting old I could play it all day every day for ten whole years

having one of my fellow sports coaches make a “honey where’s my super suit???” joke and none of the students understanding the reference was truly a humbling experience. we are getting old

go on a pikmin date

the discord name change thing is a bit sad cause three years ago someone asked me for my details and I claimed to forget the four numbers so I could get a phone number instead

I still happen to be dating that person

shouldve been playing pikmin instead of drawing that

my cool umbrella

should be playing pikmin

we got two trophies, rocket league and super smash bros

(we made history!)

:DDD

follow me if you love pikmin this is a pikmin fan account i love pikmin

sorry i was having trouble sleewping last night so I went on a walk

Sleeping with your windows open is cool until a FAMILY OF 5 FREAKING FOXES moves into the backyard and they make weird noises all night while the dogs bark at it and sounds like an entire bus full of kindergartners is being mauled by a pack of Rottweilers outside my window at 3 in the morning

I think we should take medical care away from a select portion of the population

Food hot take 6: Brown bread > White bread.

Brown bread keeps you fuller for longer, is more firm, has a better texture and is overall better.

White bread is only better in hot sandwiches (toasties/grilled cheeses and sausage/bacon sandwiches)

Sourdough bread is also overrated and worse than both!

May 10, 2023, 2:14 PM
4 4 16

reply to get told something that is not true

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I just woke up from the most vivid dream that red lobster completely switched years and started selling PLANES. Exclusively aviation-related vehicles for the purpose of human consumption. You could just go in there and order a Cessna 172 or something and then they would give it to you and you could eat it. I remember when I woke up I legitimately hallucinated the feeling of hot air balloon basket in my mouth and the taste lingered for like 5 minutes.