So, my little legionnaires, as I’m sure you knew, I was briefly banned. I return to bring you my perfectly crafted style, but there will be changes to avoid this happening again cuz it was a dragggggggg so here are my rules-
Shaft Goblin does not discriminate based on gender, ethnicity, or sexuality. Only a pussy who can’t format an insult does that. Total cop out.
Shaft Goblin will be incoherent. Nothing will make sense. There will be things I say that you cannot fathom the cause of and that is on purpose.
Shaft Goblin will be disagreeable. It may not seem like it, but I have put lots of work into this persona. Shaft Goblin is designed so that nobody, no matter their personal views, could ever, for any reason, agree with anything that it says. When it calls you a narcissist when you were talking about what you ate for dinner or some shit like that idk you’re MEANT to think “who would say this? Why would they say this? This doesn’t make any sense!”
Shaft Goblin will tone things down. I acknowledge that I did go overboard with some of my bits and took them to a level that made people uncomfortable. Thats on me, I expected people to be comfortable with everything I am, but that was stupid of me. I will do my absolute best to not make people uncomfortable anymore
Shaft Goblin will stop when asked immediately. Self explanatory. If you’re really not having fun with the account, all you need to do is tell me to quit my bullshit and I will stop.
Thats all :)
it looks like I will be using this platform an eensy teensy bit more cause I just got suspended from twitter
uh
make sure everyone lets their icecubes melt before they drink their soda
i’m honored that u appreciate my mind-state. this is 1 of the greatest joys ive ever experienced. to celebrate our friendship, i’d like to invite everyone on waste of money to go out to olive garden for dinner tonight. im paying.
breadsticks for all!!
case and point
u may think im a parody or funnny account but im actulally real i promise im just acting funni rn
purge the old, our future lies in the youth
do not let them see the light of day again, lest the old people get their smell all over the place
thats why you should join my party the shafters
America needs a new political party. Both of the current ones are bad. Republicans are way too reactionary, Democrats are pro-censorship, and both are getting more extreme. Neither appropriately represents an average person.
thats my president
Read up on “Neoliberalism”, “Neoconservatism” and the “Freedom Caucus”. These ideologies are the reason our country is so politically dysfunctional. Also - read up on Conservative Parties in other countries like the United Kingdom and Canada. One thing you’ll instantly notice is that they are generally very acceptive of socially “liberal” policies, and hell, they’re even STAUNCH supporters of universal healthcare. Think about that for a second - why is it that the idea of universal healthcare is so universally respected by all ideologies in other countries that can afford it, but universally condemned by American conservatives and hell, even the majority of LIBERALS in Congress? It’s because near the entirety of American politicians are in the pockets of Big Pharma. The politicians who claim to be everyday, stand up to “the man” people are almost always taking donations from big companies. There is a serious problem with the way America works, but there are some seriously great US politicians out there if anyone needs politicians to put on the kin list
America needs a new political party. Both of the current ones are bad. Republicans are way too reactionary, Democrats are pro-censorship, and both are getting more extreme. Neither appropriately represents an average person.
thank youuu ^^ fans like you are we we do this stuff! SO glad youre having fun :))
why do people even feel compelled to made jerkish troll accounts like @shaftgoblin and @basedashell
what do you get out of spreading negativity and being mean to people for no reason
what makes posting mean comments so funny
please explain it to me i’m genuinely curious
the cost of lives. I csincerly cannot belived your allwoed to stay on theis platform after aeverything you did. FUicking disgutsting.
Taps the tips of my fingers together while I spin slowly in a swivel chair
mwuahahahaha
pinned post
hi ! i'm dawn, here is a lot of information about me:
important information: pronouns: she/fae/they/it, pokémon nerd, girlkisser
interests: pokémon (obviously !), celeste game, team fortress game, game dev (sometimes; i'm not very good at it), old computer hardware (like commodore amiga)
this account is supposed to be a happy and safe space where people can have fun ! if you come here to be annoying then please leave, you're not welcome here
unfunny
on one hand it would be cool to have enough followers to be on the explore tab
on the other hand I am currently at 69 followers
therefore I implore any wasteof users who don’t currently follow me to perform one of the following actions:
a) do not follow me in order to keep me at 69 followers
b) follow me en masse and up that number to 420
anything in between is unacceptable
unfunny
on one hand it would be cool to have enough followers to be on the explore tab
on the other hand I am currently at 69 followers
therefore I implore any wasteof users who don’t currently follow me to perform one of the following actions:
a) do not follow me in order to keep me at 69 followers
b) follow me en masse and up that number to 420
anything in between is unacceptable
bro imagine getting into an argument with a pro geoguessr player on twitter and they reply with a selfie in front of your house
I wish I was still universally hated on this platform that shaft goblin era was awesome