(to be pinned to my profile)
Since I make art and stuff... If you want my art, go follow me on bluesky. It's way friendlier to images and videos, and has a larger community
Still waiting for a story written by the two flies
By The Wasted Onion: Trump To Remove Tax On Bribes
WASHINGTON—In a startling alteration to the nation's taxation laws, President Donald Trump announced Monday he has instructed the IRS to remove taxes on bribes. “I have told the IRS that they need to cut taxes for our nation's beautiful bribers, we have to do it, very important work. It’s vital I keep my promise to make as much money as I can out of this shitshow,” said the President in a televised address from the White House with a group of Saudi Arabian and Chinese business people standing behind him waving stacks of 100 dollar bills. “If you're a restaurant worker, a server, a valet, a bellhop, a bartender, one of my many foreign handlers, your bribes will be 100% mine and every other politician across this great nation.” Trump went on to exchange fiery words with the White House press pool, accusing journalists of peddling “lies and fake news,” while going on to praise The Wasted Onion’s White House Correspondent Jeffery Epstein as “a wonderful man” and “very kind” to him. At press time, Trump suggested further changes to the country’s tax laws, such as removing taxes for planes from Qatar worth approximately 400 million dollars.
This stories headline was written and suggested by @engineerrunner, thank you!
I have watched and studied the way the people of wasteof and the Crack House use our money, how they engage our budget.
As the official Treasurer of the Crack House, the money of this platform is my responsibility, and therefore it is up to me to waste it. After months of consideration, I have found the perfect source to receive funding directly from the Crack House.
It is with immense pleasure that I announce that @wastedonion will be receiving the rest of this year's funding — that being the two cartoon flies in my wallet — to push towards the future of parody parody news. I hope that these flies find a rightful place either on your news team or as a bartering tool of some sort.
I understand that there may be some speculation over the cause of this funding. I can assure you that the fact that both the Wasted Onion and the Crack House have the same owner is purely coincidental, and is not a scheme to put more flies in the hands of our benevolent leader. I hope this clears up any possible confusion.
As for the future, the election seems to be rapidly approaching. Although no results of the election are predetermined, I plan on running for another government position, and I hope that my actions during this present term allow you to put complete faith in me for whatever the future may hold.
With all due respect, Toaks
Ratio, it's a good song
I managed to skip Two Wuv by Tally Hall (one of the worst tallyhall songs in my opinion) in about 1.5 seconds yesterday. That’s 1.5 seconds to recognise the song, turn on my phone (which was off but already in my hand) and click skip. I’ve had a lot of practice but that’s my personal record.
Battlefront 2 the goat?? I missed out when I asked for battlefront 2 years ago and got the old one for PS2
It would be fun, I can see this being cool
should I start writing again? it’d probably be shorter and maybe about once a week or something but it was kinda fun interviewing people
then again, I don’t have an election going on to write about now lol
if I get ten likes I’ll post again and maybe do it again after that, no guarantees though.
Remember, there is often a deep connection between improper caloric intake and bad moods
Citation: me (trust me bro)
Bi-irregular reminder to clear wasteof for Android cache to get new pfps n stuff