i wonder why when it comes to things like Whether Or Not Tomatoes Are Fruit or Whether Or Not Bananas Are A Berry or Whether Or Not There Is Such Thing As A Fish, people will confidently say the scientific definition that is just Not Helpful as a fun fact without thinking about how unhelpful it is to extend that definition to everyday parlance, but then when it’s OCD (which, for the record, i don’t have, so maybe i’m not qualified to talk about this), people ignore what it actually is, and just use the word however they want (you got it the wrong way around buddy!)
tepid transaction: i give you a glass of lukewarm water, and you give me a pencil
tepid transaction: i give you a glass of lukewarm water, and you give me a pencil
if i had a nickel for every time someone asked me if i knew what some random phrase in a language i was learning meant, and subsequently expressed incredulity when i didn’t, i would have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice
TIL “portmanteau” is french for “coat-tree”
edit: okay apparently the modern french word is actually “porte-manteau”, with and e and a hyphen, and the english word “portmanteau”, without the e and the hyphen also refers to a kind of suitcase
but still
When you and homeboy are taking a math exam and gooning in the back (like usual), and you, being a dumbass, don’t go to the toilet thinking you can handle it. Then when you get to the exam you realize you messed up and your stomach starts hurting and you know you’re cooked because you had explosive diarrhea the day before (bad sign) and after 45 minutes you had to lock in on not shitting yourself and then after a while you can barely hold it in and accidentally drop your pen. Then you bend over to pick it up and diarrhea starts spraying out your ass like a garden hose. It comes with so much force it breaks through your trousers and sprays everywhere, including over three people nearby like a shit shotgun and then everyone starts vomiting then you realize the entire exam hall is screaming so you get excluded and students affected get special considerations (our life is over we are cooked 
) (we ALL relate) 
centrists be like:
$2.50 to Skylar’s Cashapp AND $50 billion to Israel
