happy [day that is commonly referred to by it’s position in the week, in addition to a color]
happy day commonly asociated with that bird that in contemporary english is commonly referred to by the name of that one country
for many seconds, i thought it was a stupid pun like haha opening windows
just watched ghostbusters. my favorite part was when they said “it's ghost bustin’ time” and busted all over the ghosts
an unfunny post, that’s what
What was that? 
i am committing tax fraud
(for legal reasons this is a joke, irs)
you: (hm wasn’t there someone saying something about that?)
i am committing tax fraud
(for legal reasons this is a joke, irs)
you: (hm wasn’t there someone saying something about that?)
nuh uh
people are like “omg I'm so cynical” clearly you have never lived inside of a large ceramic jar and beat your meat at people to win arguments
Damn really cured my depression by being happy
This sounds unbelievably stupid but it's amazing to realize the amount of power you have over how other people feel, especially for being happy. It's become so standard to close up and just talk negatively about yourself that you may not realize how easily you can make someone else's day good.
*clears throat*
*slams table*
*chugs 2 litres of petrol*
*smashes toilet with sledgehammer*
*drops 500kg bomb on bank*
Time to establish anarchy
annoy people by rounding time minutes to the nearest fifth of an hour, rather than quarters
Prithee forsooth!
When I was but a wee lad, my only wish in the world was to travel through the recesses of the earth and extract resources