i have a few wasted onion headlines i didn’t think were good enough or i didn’t flesh out before they kinda became irrelevant, so here they are:
Trump And Biden Fall Asleep Together In Each Other’s Arms During Popes Funeral
White House Slams Amazon After Accidental Delivery Of Bottle Of Urine To Mar-A-Lago From Sleep Deprived Delivery Driver
UK Government Successfully Meets 2025 Target To Cut All Homeless People In Half
Lazy Motherfucker Da-ta Finally Makes A Goddamned Wasteof Post
New Pope Leo XIV Is Actually Virgo
Costco Founder To CEO: ‘Even If You Don't Raise The Effing Hot Dog, I Will Kill You.’
Kier Starmer To Be Cast As Headteacher Wagging His Finger While Teenage Boy Stabs His Female Classmates In Adolescence Season Two
JD Vance Releases Debut Kawaii Metal Album Under ‘DJ Vance’ Pseudonym
Glaswegian Invents New Language By Speaking A Little Faster Than Normal
Nintendo Pirates Grand Theft Auto VI
politics warning lmao
i endorse this meme, i even have one of my own to share
given what has happened today, i just wanna say that you should consider following @perrin, he’s a really funny guy who’s a very smart and compassionate person as well.
here’s a bonus wasted onion headline i wrote when all that dislike button and other stuff was added to wasteof4 for like 5 minutes. decided against posting it since when i woke up all the changes were already reverted and kinda ruined the joke lol
i saw these pictures today and from what i think is the original source (just so i had more certainty they are actual old photos), they’re of a man who took his german shepherd into a photo booth at new york city’s grand central station in the winter of 1943.
obviously my immediate intrigue was just that they’re pretty sweet pictures, a man having a laugh trying to get his dog to pose for the camera, and the dog looks very distinguished with the glasses and pipe.
but i think what struck me about them is that it kinda feels as if it sorta reminds us that the people of the past were not that different from us. i think its easy to see the past as just the things we learn in history, wars, politics, conflicts. don’t get me wrong, they matter, those who don’t learn history are doomed to repeat it. but something we don’t see much is just people of older eras being distinctly human. most photos we see from the earlier days of photography are of historic moments, like pictures of world leaders, etc.
these kinds of photos show that people of the past also loved their pets, and found it funny to have them wear human items like glasses. i think it shows that we all have a shared humanity across borders and time.
and yes i somehow made some old pictures of a dude and his dog into some kind of existential thing about the human condition or something, lmao.
photos from barbara levine, a collector of vernacular photography, link to more pics of this man and his dog in the comments.
i got one ui 7 on my samsung s23 ultra today and i need to scream about what they’ve done to adaptive icons. on the left is one ui 6.1, and on the right one ui 7. for some ungodly stupid reason samsung thought that making the icon dark and the background the theme colour looked good. insanity i tell you. whoever signed off on this is crazy, i legit don’t know what they were thinking lmao. also on top of that, widget scaling is wonky, and the last punch in the throat is that it installed google gemini without telling me and i cannot delete it, so now i have another disabled app taking up space on my phone because google and samsung have decided i must have their shitty ai that i don’t use nor need, if i wanted it i would get it from the play store. i have mouth and i must scream.
a friend sent me this tweet, and it just shows how tech bros don’t understand art, and more specifically, black mirror.
the “white mirror” already exists, that’s tech companies, they make adverts about how wonderful their new technology is, why you must use it, etc. look at how ads for ai a lot of time try and make it seem like ai can make something “perfect” - like that gemini ad about a little girl writing a fan letter to the olympian they admire - google says "hey, you’re gonna fuck this letter up, let ai fix it”, it creates this sense of inadequacy if you don’t allow ai to rewrite your own words.
my point is that the tech industry is the white mirror, they make us think that they will create a utopia for us if we just let them do what they want. but in reality many of us know that is coming with immense tradeoffs, their idea of utopia doesn’t seem to align with ours more and more.
black mirror is in a lot of ways the antithesis of this “white mirror” - it tries to imagine and explore what our future could be. it’s the person at the asbestos factory wondering why everyone is getting cancer while everyone else is praising how good of a building material it is.
not every black mirror episode is about tech, but most of them are some kind of satire that push things happening in the real world to their logical extreme, especially technological advancements. not every episode works, but when they do, they hit hard. the national anthem haunts me to this day
reading a large amount of onion articles for the wasted onion has certainly made me feel this way too lmao
opened twitter for the first time in ages just to see how bad its got and within mere minutes i saw multiple ai generated vidoes posted by accounts with ai pfps that have barely 100 likes, alt-right accounts complaining about “wokeness”, and a video of a dog fight. i have never once shown interest in any of these things, yet twitter is interjecting this content amongst tweets of people i follow and things i like and enjoy, it’s eerie how the algorithm is now so clearly skewing people into a certain direction and way of thinking.
moral of the story is i’m glad i stopped using twitter.
was unfortunate enough to catch a glimpse of celebrity big brother uk today and while the show itself is awful and is designed to be as sensationalist as possible to get media attention because god forbid you make anything that actually can stand on its own without just being an outrage machine, i noticed a strange logo in the corner that looked odd, i presumed it was something that was added by someone else rather than itv (the tv network airing big brother), but alas, this is the official logo used alongside the typical eye logo you know big brother by. i don’t think i need to explain why its bad, it looks like a logo i would’ve made in sve circa 2016 or in microsoft publisher on a school computer running windows 7. can’t fathon who signed off on this, actually, probably the same people who signed off on allowing big brother uk to limp on lmao.
for the folks curious i am working on the suggested headlines and stories you post to the wasted onions wall and whatnot, it takes a little bit of time since I write the articles by myself and try to make them funny and in the style of the onion, plus I don't want to clog your feeds too much with posts from it. but please, do keep suggesting ideas if you have them! I'll get around to them.