OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE FROM THE CRACK HOUSE
In our mission to make our nation as silly as possible, I am here to announce yet more achievements to complete our manifesto!
The sixth point we made in the manifesto was that “Arch Linux users to get a free badge to indicate they are Arch Linux users” and I am thrilled to say we are shipping now! Just let us know you use Arch, and we’ll post you a wonderful badge to show off that you’re an Arch Linux user, btw.
Points 20 and 21 of our manifesto were to “Make the Atlantic Salmon the new National Bird” and “Rename the National Bird to National Birb” and we’ve done just that! The Atlantic Salmon is the new National Birb! Look at how majestic it is!
And that is just some of the things my administration is doing to ensure the nation keeps its reputation for top tier silliness intact on the world stage! I’ll return in the near future to share even more of what we’re doing to achieve my manifesto’s goals, and even more.
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OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE FROM THE CRACK HOUSE
In our pursuit to fulfil our manifesto promises, I’m happy to announce yet more things we’ve acheived!
Our first point in the manifesto was to provide “Free french toast, waffles, and pancakes (of any kind)” and I am happy to announce we are now shipping! Make sure to order your free government-backed waffles, french toast and pancakes today! Don’t worry, unlike Lunchly, we actually check our food to make sure mould isn’t present (like serious how did they miss mould lmao). Feel free to request what kind you’d like too. We hope you enjoy this new government service!
Points 15 and 16 of our manifesto promised we would “Sue Adobe even harder” and “Bankrupt Adobe”, I am able to now report that we sued adopt way harder, like, so hard it made the tungsten nervous. Thanks to our efforts, we’ve been able to bankrupt Adobe! Not just that, we’re working to make all Adobe software open source, so don’t worry! Your Adobe product and services will still run, but will now be maintained by the open source community while not charging you absurd prices to use it! Also, no more hidden early cancellation fees!
I’ll be back soon to share more on how we’re doing to achieve my other manifesto promises. We will be working hard as we always have to ensure we keep this nation silly.
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OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE FROM THE CRACK HOUSE
As part of our manifesto, I planned to do many things to keep our nation silly. And I’m keeping them, here’s some progress.
Our 12th point in the manifesto was to “Triple cheese production quotas and fill every easily accessible cave system in the continental United States with cheese. Finish what Missouri started!”. And we are doing this with at a rapid, not just have we reached our triple cheese production quota goal, we’re already filling up our cave systems with it!
Another manifesto point we made was point 17; “Replace the Senate with a 24/7 all you can eat buffet” and I am happy to report that the senate is now a 24/7 all you can eat buffet. Filled to the brim with excellent cuisine, the Senate Stuff-Your-Face Buffet is our nation’s latest and greatest in all things food, yummy!
We’ll continue to fulfil our campaign promises to ensure the silliness of our nation is preserved.
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OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE FROM THE CRACK HOUSE
Our administration keeps doing its job to ensure our nation remains silly for all, here is some of the latest:
The Secretary of Education @elsie has created an account for her Department of Education under the handle @doed. Please follow for more news regarding what she plans to do!
The Director of National Intelligence @dertermenter has that Human Intelligence will now be deploying spies to see if anyone claps when the plan lands. If they find anyone doing so, they will forever be cleared of ever being a national threat. More info here: https://wasteof.money/posts/66b67c6f7a4a6e673f8a835c
The Secretary of State @kiwi has shared the official logo for the Department of State, he also says he will ensure that the waffle tax stays low.
As you can see, we’re keeping our promise to keep things silly, and we’ll continue to fight towards this goal for the people of this great nation.
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OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE FROM THE CRACK HOUSE
As you already know by now, the administration is doing all we can to ensure silliness all over this wonderful nation, here are some highlights:
The Secretary of the Treasury @Toaks has announced that the funds raised through recent tax collections can be assigned to any recognised Crack House government office that requires it, please contact the Treasurer here if you are part of the administration and need funds: https://wasteof.money/posts/66b11afb7a4a6e673f8a5be9
The Acting Secretary of Housing and Urban Development @Allyz has announced that she has opened communal housing (maximum 7 roommates per living space) to anyone whom would find it adequate. The rent is a flat rate of $500 per month, which is less than a quarter of the average rent. More info here: https://wasteof.money/posts/66b10eb53190c56a73728d27
Keep your eyes peeled while our administration announces more plans to ensure silliness, alongside my own plans to fulfil my promises during the Auri24 campaign.
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OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE FROM THE CRACK HOUSE
Our administration continues to work at breakneck pace to deliver for the people of this fine nation, here are some more things our cabinet has been up to:
The Department of Health and Human Services (@dohhs) has announced more details about Mediwaste, which will take effect on August 5th. it will adjust medical bills to 169% and the sale of health insurance, including coverage for dental, emergency surgeries, and more, will be prohibited. More details here: https://wasteof.money/posts/66ae78e3a72473bb78ed1c0a
General Attorney @Esben has created his own dedicated account for The Department of Justice under @attorney. You can leave your comments and requests to my administration on the accounts wall, which will be relayed to myself and my VP.
The Secretary of Commerce @Oren has announced a deal to resell Drakes used cried tissues on the wasteof merch store. It is predicted to increase economic performance by 70% next quarter. More info here: https://wasteof.money/posts/66ad837fa72473bb78ed18ca
As you can see folks, we are working as hard as possible to ensure we do what is best for the nation and to ensure silliness prevails.
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OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE FROM THE CRACK HOUSE
Our Administration has hit the ground running, and we already are making progress to ensure silliness around the nation. Here are some things to know on our cabinet’s first day:
The Secretary of the Treasury @Toaks has begun tax collections. He has added a new requirement that you list at least 1 way you plan to waste money. Please ensure you file your tax returns as soon as possible here: https://wasteof.money/posts/66ac36e860c77df1a95d148f
The Secretary of Health and Human Services @radi8 has made an account for their department on wasteof, find it at @dohhs and don’t forget to follow for more news from the department! They are already planning policies like Mediwaste and Medisave.
The Secretary of Transportation @mef has announced it’s MTRGFTFT (Making Transportation Really Good For The First Time) initiative to make our transport system the best and silliest one on Earth! The first stage of the initiative is METH (Mef Ethical Transportation Hierarchy), which you can learn about here: https://wasteof.money/posts/66ac28dd60c77df1a95d140c
Info for administration members
Feel free to do what you think would be funny for your department, make an account if you wish, and I will make a logo for it like I did for @dohhs, or just post on your own account! Remember the aim is to ensure silliness, also think about how your department can fulfil my manifesto!
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Meet the Administration
Today, my administration is announcing our government. We have a diverse group of people who will ensure that our nation is committed to silliness. Other roles may be appointed in the future if desired. Below is the list of our appointees.
President - @auriali
Vice President - @perrin
First Gentleman - @beemoviebot
Second Gentleman - @da-ta
Secretary of State - @kiwi
Secretary of the Treasury - @toaks
Secretary of Defence - @eris
Attorney General - @esben
Secretary of Agriculture - @wynd
Secretary of Commerce - @oren
Director of National Intelligence - @dertermenter
Secretary of Health and Human Services - @radi8
Acting Secretary of Housing and Urban Development - @allyz
Secretary of Transportation - @mef
Secretary of Energy - @lily
Secretary of Education - @elsie
Secretary of Homeland Security - @mrowlsss
Ambassador to the United Nations - @zlf
Secretary of the TNC Department - @micahlt
King - @jeffalo
As you can see, we have fulfilled yet another campaign promise to make the @thenewcreators a government department, headed by one of its hosts, Micah Lindley. We will continue to bring our manifesto promises to life for the people of this great nation!
Apologies for all the pings, I just wanted to make sure everyone I appointed are aware since I didn’t ask beforehand. If you wish to be replaced, then please let me know!
WELCOME TO THE WHITE CRACK HOUSE
Today marks the beginning of the Auriali-Perrin Administration. We will be appointing government roles tomorrow. Please note that this account was previously Auri24 which was the official account of my campaign for president. After a discussion with Oren, we decided it would be best for him to rename the president account, so I may claim it - which I have done.
My first act as president is to rename The White House to The Crack House, which was part of our manifesto, my second act is to rename 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue to 308 Negro Arroyo Lane.
As we begin this Administration, I hope that you the people will find that my VP @perrin and I will do what is right by you and ensure that our nation remains silly. It’s time to get serious and restore insanity!
Heya, this is Sean/da-ta/Auriali again! Thank you again folks for getting the Auri24 campaign to be such a success! For now, I’ll need to work out what I want to do with this account. My initial idea is to rebrand it to be a promotional account for my Discord server, ta’s hangout. But if you have any other ideas that might be cool, then let me know!
UPDATE Oren said the best path forward was for me to rename an account to the @president handle, which I have done for this account. So just FYI, this account was formerly Auri24!
My fellow wasteof users, we did it. Thank you for voting for insanity! I am very humbled to be your president-elect. I will work tirelessly to ensure silliness prevails. Thank you to everyone who voted for me and also spread the word to help our grassroots campaign make such a shockwave. Well done to my opponents too, your campaigns were great and I admire your work to win this election. To those who didn’t vote for me, I will work twice as hard to ensure I can convince you all that I am the right person for the job. Thank you to my vice president-elect @perrin for being my running mate, he will work just as hard for the people as I will.
Want to get real for just a moment, this has been really fun and shows to best of wasteof imo, a simple joke about me replacing Joe Biden spiralled into a joke presidential campaign where tons of you guys got really creative with your own campaigns or supporting others campaigns was really awesome to see, honestly didn’t expect to win, I always see myself as a bit of an outsider here since I don’t really code and whatnot, but clearly I was mistaken lol. All of this stuff also just pushed me to 100 followers on this account too! This is my second account to do so (first being da-ta), thank you very much!
I’ll reveal my government and cabinet picks once I get the @president account off of @oren who made it for safekeeping. For now, thank you for everything! Back to normal service!
UPDATE I have the @president account now! Formerly Auri24.
Thank you to everyone who has supported my grassroots campaign and voted for me. I will make a longer remark later on today! 
We have a winner….
After all of the campaigns, one person took the throne and collected the votes.
That person is….. @AURIALI
OUR NEW PRESIDENT!!!
Today is the final day you can vote! Whoever you want to vote for (hopefully me), make sure your voice is heard!
AURIALI HAS WON THE ELECTION
LEADERBOARD
Auriali - 27
Kiwi - 10
Toaks - 2
Eris - 9
Late - 1
Jeffalo - 2
Skylar - 1
Gambercube6 - 1
Allyz - 3
$upercash - 1
Mybearworld - 1
Elaruu - 3
-1 - 1
steve0greatness
29204958174050385058385058278r - 2
29204958174050385058385058278q - 1
“Miku” - 1
People who have voted: Esben, Wynd, Dertermenter, Kiwi, Toaks, cheesewhisk3rs, Perrin, Donotforgetmycode, Slider_on_the_black, Jamied132, luckythecat, prehistoric-pancake, Blaze, Gryffin, JoshAtticus (rip atticus, the best cat fr), wlodekm2, tnix, radi8, late, busybird15, RedStrider, siliconecb_, geo, elsie, ethernet, 94, paradocktheman, buttah, aurali, zlf, k10398, mybearworld, birdfour, gamecuber6, supercash, touchcreator, catblock, ally, flex, wolf, strawberrypuding, arrow, zagle1772, supernoodles99, impossible usernames, mef, zid, salad, pkmnq, oren, yippymishy, yay, magma, mrmeems, seether, twyx, mrowlsss, ajskateboarder, nezon, blax_, wahsp, lily, vubobinali, -1, faeyie, steve0greatness, silly
Voter count: 68
Thank you Esben for your sacrifice
BOYS
If @auriali hits 30 votes before the end of the election, I will change my discord and wasteof pfp to ice spice for an entire month. 4 more votes are required…